This past week, I
spent two days at the National Forum on the State of the Ugandan Child, which
took place at one of the fanciest hotels in Uganda with over 1,000 guests
invited. This forum was funded by
the United States Agency for International Development (USAID) and its purpose
was to bring together beneficiaries and children from all over Uganda to
discuss this urgent matter of the state of children in this country. At times it was truly inspiring, as
children were given a platform to speak and ask these people in high level
positions what they are doing for children in this country. It was also at times very bleak as
dismal statistics were repeated over and over reminding us how much work must
be done to improve the well being of children here. To hear these statistics and watch an amazing and very real video made by the
embassy, copy and paste this link:
https://web.facebook.com/video.php?v=901203323262510
As I sit here writing
this blog post, I am shedding tears.
Most of the time I post happy things, as most of my service has been
happy and rewarding due to the amazing people ive met. I have yet to post about some of the
negatives, but I have decided today that this is something important for people
to know. Life here isn’t always
easy and it surely isn’t easy witnessing some of the awful things I have
seen. It eats away at me inside
witnessing and hearing things such as domestic violence, children being beaten
or a child crying on my couch telling me how his drunk uncle was shouting
horrible things at him and his sister. So many of these situations and things are out of my
control due to culture, society and my own safety which makes it the most
challenging part of my service.
So, this blog post is
dedicated to a truly amazing, kind, loving, smart and witty child who I am
lucky to call my best friend, Tonny.
Tonny is 12 years old and a bright young child who always has a smile on
his face. I met him when I first
moved in as he was helping out in my compound and came up to introduce himself
to me. He then asked me some
questions, which I thought were very random, only to find out they were
homework questions he was given. I
told him to bring his books over and from that point on its all history! Every
day he would come to my house, we would chat and id help him with his
homework. It became our
routine. Our friendship has really
grown a lot over the past 6 months.
I expect a visit from him each day, knowing that something is wrong if
he misses a day to see me. Him and
his sister Nora are orphans. They
lost their parents in a car accident several years back and are now being cared
for by their grandmother. She is a
beautiful, strong and kind woman who I have also become close with. She is like my grandma here, always
welcoming me into their home with a hug and preparing some tea with a snack. Almost every night she sends Tonny with
some food for me even though they themselves don’t have much at all (I swear I
think she thinks I don’t know how to cook!). Her oldest son (tonny and nora’s uncle) also stays with
them, but in a small house on the side of the main house. I am now recently learning and
witnessing for myself that unfortunately this man has a serious problem with
alcohol (as many men in this country do).
Up until recently, he has stopped beating the children due to the
grandma’s push. Probably most of
you don’t know the situation here, but children are treated like second class
citizens, and it is the worst for girls.
Beating children is so prevalent that most people don’t see any problem
with it and see it as the only way to keep children in line. I was happy to hear Tonny’s grandma
doesn’t beat them, but knowing that their uncle used to kills me inside. If you were to meet these children, you
would see they are the most well-behaved and well-respected children you have
probably ever met. Tonight
Tonny came to my house after we spent the day together in town shopping and
eating. He sat down on my couch
and kept quiet, which is very unusual for him. Me being my nosy self, I started questioning him and he
eventually began to cry, telling me “Uncle Fred took too much booze and was
abusing us”. I questioned him more
asking what he said to them. He
said, “He told us we are stupid and that our mother is dead”. He began to tell me more, which I had
trouble understanding through the tears and upset in his voice. I immediately told him that they are
NOT stupid and sat with him as he continued to cry, trying to hide his face and
tears from me. Never have I seen
this child like this. He told me
“if at all I get the chance to leave and go somewhere else, I will.” It makes me so sad to think that the
situation is so bad that he would rather be anywhere else but at his OWN home
that belonged to his parents. This
is just ONE child’s story, but unfortunately it mirrors the stories of many
children throughout this country who live in even worse situations. So every time you see a picture I post
of children (which is often, lets be real!), behind that beautiful face and
bright smile there is a story to be told.
Since its unlikely
any of you will ever meet this amazing boy, here are some photos for you. He aspires to go to
university, become a pilot and one day come and visit California!
Digging and planting our seeds! (carrots, onions, broccoli, zucchini, spinach) |
![]() |
Practicing times tables, the 9's trick :D |
![]() |
Being silly with a chunk of my muzungu hair ;) |
It's very hard and emotional to read this post. Having met Tonny, Norah and their Grandma I know how kind, generous and sweet they are. I can only hope and pray they will find peace and happiness in their future and know this is a very real uphill battle. Children are vulnerable in so many ways in Uganda; no voice, extreme challenges to stay in school, and little opportunity for a good future. I am sad:(.
ReplyDeleteVery sad. I just don't understand how they don't see that these children are their future.
ReplyDeleteWe reallt enjoyed the cards Tonny and Norah wrote to us. That was so sweet. Please tell them how much we appreciated and enjoyed the thank you cards.
I'm glad he has a friend in you. It's a shame the Uncle is broken and drinks. The by-product of that is obviously hurt for the rest of the family. Sounds like Grandma is stepping up though? Just make sure you allow her to do that and not get yourself pinned between them. Please watch your words, as your friend under anger may say something to his Uncle. Thank you for sharing your story of friendship in what seems a difficult time with the kids. I know these things trouble you and make you sad, however, understand you are the happy story within it. That he has you to rebuke his uncle's hateful words, and be fed your words of love. You are a special person, one of a kind. I look forward to reading more of your blog in the future. Your cousin, Joe Brown
ReplyDeleteGood advice Joe.
ReplyDeleteNothing worse than unsolicited advice, but speaking from a similiar experience, I had in S.Korea with some good kids. Her blog (story) totally resonates with my mine. I hope their Uncle gets help, but more importantly, the kids feel loved. Obviously, her heart shows in her words, so I know she is providing that which is most important. �� I would love to send her and the kids a care package. I know the Grandma would appreciate it too. My email address: joebsafety@yahoo.com Your cousin, Joe Brown PS: A list of items would be helpful.
ReplyDeleteChelsea, I have read this blog over and over, and each time I read it, it becomes more depressing to hear about the Ugandan children being treated so poorly. This is all so sad. I am praying for Tonny and Nora to someday get out of that situation, and I am sure there are so many more children that are in the same situation. Wish I could meet them personally, and give them all a great big hug! These hard times will help them to be even Greater People" when they reach adulthood. But the scars of their pain will always be there. They will be stronger, because you listened and directed them through their tough times,to being stronger. Stay Strong my love! I know you are seeing and living through a lot of things that happen in other countries! Love Ya! Grandma
ReplyDelete